Kindy Drop-Off Anxiety & Authentic Living This Week

A poem full of Kindy drop-off induced feelings paired with my weekly roundup of gratitude, memories, inspiration, learnings, hobbies and struggles - all tied together in a little bow.

Hello Friends!

Here's what you'll find in today’s newsletter:

A Piece of Life in Focus This Week

• Kindy Drop-Off Poem: To deal with a rough kindy drop-off, I wrote this poem.

Authentic Living This Week

• Gratitude Corner - Husband and kids tidbits

• Making Memories - Blanket caves, gumballs & koala day

• Inspiring Finds - Amazing Substacks

• Learning Something New - Paint, acronyms and notes

• Hobbies & Interests - AI podcast & a girly craft day

• Reality Check - Working from home, biting, and separate beds

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Welcome to My Substack! My Name is Tania.

I invite you to join me on a journey of embracing authentic living. Through honest stories, personal insights, and reflections on authenticity, I seek to find the extraordinary in the ordinary. Subscribe for free!

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Life in Focus This Week

A Kindy Drop-Off Poem

NOTE: This poem includes mild themes of distress in a young child.

I try to sneak away so you can't see me. That's what they say is best.

You see me.

You cry and say 'mummy don't go, mummy please stay'.

You run up to me and hold me tight.

Your plea grows louder and more distraught.

'Can I take him' she says calmly through the chaos.

Other little ones look on in worry.

I stand in idle silence, my mind unable to process the distress.

She carries you away. Kicking. Screaming. Crying.

'Mummy' rings in my ears.

Everything in me tells me not to walk away. To grab you and take you home with me. 

‘No mummy no' you cry through anguished tears.

'We'll call you' she says. I walk away, trying to hold back a tear.

Pretending that the betrayal you feel doesn't linger in my soul.

Trying not to worry that you'll hate me and never trust me again.

Reminding myself I'm doing the right thing but thinking it doesn't feel right.

I sit in my car, close the door and cry.

I call my husband in tears. He consoles me and says 'That's just how it goes'.

'Where has mummy gone?' I picture you asking 'Why isn't she here with me?'

I pace back and forth at home, checking for missed calls, hoping you're okay.

Mummy wants you to know you've been in my mind all day.

Mummy will always come back for you.

Mummy says I'll never leave. But I did leave.

I hope you will forgive me.

I hope you settle in. Embrace something new. Make friends, try new things and grow in all the best ways.

There's so much more you can do, see, explore and learn.

I hope you have fun, laugh and play, knowing mummy will always come back for you.

I'll be there soon. I'll give you a cuddle and a kiss and say 'I'm so proud of you'.

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He was supposed to go back to Kindy the next day. He screamed and cried on the way to the car saying he just wanted to stay with mummy. We made it to the car park. He refused to get out of the car, bawling and distressed. I had my one-year-old with me, I couldn't manage physically or emotionally, so we left and went home. We will try again next week. This time with backup - My husband. I am filled to the brim with anxiety about it all. I hope we are doing the right thing.

Thank you everyone for the lovely comments I received on notes during the height of my distress.

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Authentic Living This Week

This Substack series is devoted to everything that I feel adds authenticity and realness to my life and I hope it helps you focus on the authentic joy you can create and experience in your day-to-day lives too.

Gratitude Corner: Finding Appreciation in the Everyday

Taking time to find things to be grateful for in everyday moments is a great way to stay grounded and remind yourself of the things that really matter.

This week I’m grateful for:

• My beautiful boys (1 & 3) see me as the absolute centre of their world. They thrive off my love and attention and beam with joy when I genuinely delight in their presence. I know it won't always be like this so I want to lock this moment in and treasure it.

• My husband working from home. Because of this, he’s had the privilege of experiencing many baby milestones firsthand that he would have missed otherwise if he worked elsewhere. It has also meant that I can borrow a second set of hands occasionally when one set of hands doesn’t quite cut it. Having another adult in the house to talk to and vent at occasionally has its positives too.

• Intimate moments with my husband where it's just the two of us reconnecting. A rare pleasure these days but savoured so much more when we can catch and take hold of these pockets of time to tend to our relationship.

What are you grateful for this week?

Making Memories: Cherished Moments & Milestones

Making memories and recording them has always been incredibly important to me. Our memories tend to fail us, so keeping a record of precious moments enhances our memory-keeping abilities.

This week I thought I'd sum up some of the little moments in our day-to-day to try and lock into the memory vault.

Here are some of my favourite memories from this week:

• We played blanket caves on mummy's bed, huddled under the cozy linen draped over us like an imploding tent. Giggles and squeals ignite the moment with extra warmth as we get lost in the tangled mess and try to find our way out.

•  'Come get your big brother' my 3-year-old shouts, enticing our one-year-old to chase him up and down the halls. He follows, face beaming. They run, launch onto the mattress and tumble together across the jumbled duvet.

• My 3-year-old is obsessed with gumballs. But he doesn't chew them. He waits in anticipation for me to blow sticky bubble-gum bubbles for him to giggle at and pop with his little finger.

• It was Koala Day on Sunday and we went to our local event space 'Old Petrie Town' to wander the market stalls, learn about koalas, pat some reptiles and look at vintage cars. My eldest loves the carnival clowns game the best. He won a baby doll. He named her ‘Baby Ella’.

What has inspired you or taught you something new this week?

Creative Outlets & Fun Hobbies

Life can be mundane, so it’s always nice to indulge in something creative or interesting to break up the monotony.

Here’s what I’ve been up to lately to keep life interesting:

• A new episode of my absurd AI podcast 'Quirky Nonsense' is live. This one is about the metaphysical properties of fidget spinners. It’s weird, it’s wonderful, I like it.

• Once a month I enjoy a craft day with a small group of close girlfriends at my friend Rusika's house. We each bring along a craft project of our choice. I'm currently working on a vintage romance-themed junk journal using a digital junk journal kit I created. I look forward to it every month. No kids, a cheese board, a relaxing hobby and good company. Could I ask for anything more?

What hobbies or creative outlets did you indulge in recently?

Learning Something New

We are constantly learning new things in every aspect of our lives. However, we rarely pause to appreciate and marvel at how our knowledge and worldview are expanding in real time. The more we learn, the more we grow. Never stop learning.

• My son prefers mixing paint colours more than the act of painting itself. He thrives off the joy of the unknown and surprises, much like myself. I learn more and more about this growing little human being every day.

• If you pull yorkshire puddings out of the oven too early, they will deflate, but not all is lost. They will still taste good. No your 3 year old won’t eat them.

• An NFT, EFT and ETF are all very different things with similar-sounding acronyms. Next time I should check I’m using the right one in the right context before trying to sound smart when chatting with my finance-obsessed husband 😄

• Yes, you can make a note go viral on Substack. Just write one about the hesitation around posting a note, and you’ve nailed it.

What did you learn this week?

Inspiring Finds: Amazing Substacks

I’ve sunken deep into the pool of Substack posts floating in my inbox this week. This is only a sample of what I snatched out of the water and read. Soak up some of these quotes too:

• To Be Awed from

  Talking to Myself
  by
  Caroline

  The older I get, the softer I become.

  The softer I become, the more I feel.

  The more I feel, the more I cry.

• Why less is always more: Things I quit to reignite joy in my life by

  Carmen Luisa
  from
  Rooted & Rested

I needed to drastically reevaluate what I was consuming so could hear my own thoughts again. Feel my heart’s desires and experience the sweetness of life instead of constantly tasting the sour flavours of not-enoughness.

• Why Bother Writing Books? from

  The Hyphen by Emma Gannon

  The love is real. When your book is published, you get to hold a piece of yourself in your hands. Books have a different life force, they live on separately to you.

• Have you lost your sense of wonder? from

  Shit & Love
  by
  David Venus

  Once we are firmly established in the world it’s hard to get back to this magical sense of belonging to the universe.

• There is no Blue Monday in Australia, mainly because it’s already Tuesday and also because it’s Summer. from

  Where are you from, and why?
  by
  Barbs Honeycutt

Despite my personal policies and best intentions, imagine my surprise when crossing a big intersection I get attacked by a magpie. Not even a weird prehistoric-looking wild creature, but a plain black and white bird!

What has inspired you this week?

Reality Check: Navigating Life’s Challenges

I find venting about struggles I face in life just as therapeutic as embracing joy. Writing about or vocalising the tougher moments in life helps us to process them and knowing we're not alone in these struggles is helpful too.

Here are some struggles I’d like to vent about this week:

• My husband working from home: Wait wasn't this in the grateful section? Why yes it was, but there are downsides to this blessing too. My boys can be very distracting for my husband’s work and will often try and do things to coax him out of his office. So I always take them out somewhere in the morning to give my husband a chance to work without distractions. Being out of the house with two littles is a lot of work, and because we are gone for so long, progress on cleaning and cooking each day is not where I’d like it to be.

• My Little Biter: My one-year-old has decided that biting me is the best way to get my attention, particularly when he is angry and/or hungry. Like a frantic cockatoo nipping at my calves then at my shoulder and shirt as I pick him up. It's as terrifying as it sounds. Those little toothy razors are sharp! My eldest never did that, so this is a new challenge for me to navigate.

• My husband and I sleep in separate beds: When my second son was born, we decided to sleep separately so I could focus on tending to and feeding the baby throughout the night (who often ended up sleeping in my bed). Theoretically, this would allow my husband to sleep more soundly for work. My baby is now 15 months old and seems firmly set on maintaining this sleep arrangement, meanwhile, my 3yo has made a regular habit of sneaking into daddy's bed at night. So we both have company in bed, but not with each other. But that's okay we keep telling ourselves, it's only temporary.

  What do you feel like venting about this week? This is your safe space! No judgment here.

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So I’m a bit worried this series is becoming a chunky monkey and I would love some feedback on whether I should separate it into two separate posts or keep it as one in the future. Let me know in the poll below:

As we navigate the beautiful mess of life, remember that embracing authenticity, finding joy in the little things, and supporting one another through the ups and downs is what makes the journey so incredibly worthwhile. Please let me know what you think of my posts by leaving a comment below or reaching out to me in the app. If you enjoy my content, consider hitting subscribe! Have a wonderful day!