"Domestic assassin" legit cracked me up! I love it! Maybe you ARE a domestic assassin, but instead of thinking of it as someone who leaves chaos, you're more like someone who KILLS it when it comes to having a great family and being a mom and having her priorities straight.
You are not alone. I named my major inner critic, "The Judge".
You describe the scenario lucidly and I like your approach to celebrating strengths. Sometimes though, My Judge has been too loud, too coercive and too stupid to listen. But I have found ways to distract and entice him to do things he likes and I need him to do.
Ooh, I seriously needed to read this today! I love that theory of replacement. It’s so difficult to stop doing something, but when you can replace it with a healthier habit, it helps so much more. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
The state of your home is not a reflection of your worth. Whether the dishes are done today, tomorrow or next week has nothing to do with anything. They're just dishes.
The most important thing to give your kids is love, that's what they will remember and that's what'll make them good people. The house being messy does not factor into that.
I love that you recognize the harm that you are doing to yourself by constantly talking yourself down and that you are making a conscious effort to change that. Well done ♡
And it seems you have quite a lot of talents to be proud of.
Also, rather than comparing yourself with your husband, I'd just spend my time admiring him. Sounds like you hit the jackpot with that one! Seems like he has a complimentary skillset to yours, that's perfect! That just means you make a great team. Celebrate that and let each other shine ☆
Finally, just a thought and I hope you don't take this the wrong way because it's not a bad thing, but have you ever considered the possibility that you might be neurodivergent? The thought spirals, the chaos, the creative mind - it gives a bit of neurodivergent vibes. Maybe your brain just has a different way of working and all you need are different strategies and acommodations?
I'm autistic and realizing that changed my life to the better, especially in the way that I think about myself. I'm no longer a broken horse, I'm a beautiful zebra 😊
Anyway, just an idea to explore if you are struggling ♡
A thing that I'm good at: editing other people's stories. Ah, if only it translated over to editing my own stories, but it doesn't 🙈
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. Yes I have considered that I may have ADHD or be a bit nuro spicy but have never been diagnosed. I've come to realise many writers are too ❤️
Tania, don't it feel good to dish out the negativity in words, followed by a sweet dessert....Everybody likes a positive dessert....Thank for sharing....✅
Fab fab fab loved the topic and the honest and light hearted approach! Wait … you might have unleashed something girl! Feel the need to spill the beans myself as well ha ha ha you made my morning! Be blessed!
I love my husband but whenever I complain about something (which I try not to do, but you know how it is), he says, “I’m just the worst person in the world,” in this funny voice. It’s so annoying because it immediately makes me realize that whatever I’m complaining about isn’t really that big of a deal even though it’s still annoying. I am critical of myself a lot, but over the years I’ve gotten better. When I go too hard on affirmations that I don’t believe it has a tendency to backfire, but I have had success doing what you’re doing here, focusing on the positive. Like how you said your house is messy bc you’re so focused on your kids. That’s so beautiful. We don’t have kids, but it sounds like yours are very loved.
Thanks for sharing your insights and for reading ☺️❤️. As for my hair, I have always had an excessive volume of hair 3x more than the average head of hair it seems 😆 so it just looks like that with zero effort, but it has its downsides too. It gets very heavy and hot at times.
"Domestic assassin" legit cracked me up! I love it! Maybe you ARE a domestic assassin, but instead of thinking of it as someone who leaves chaos, you're more like someone who KILLS it when it comes to having a great family and being a mom and having her priorities straight.
Oh I love that Sandra, I'm stealing it 😄❤️
You should get a sticker and post it in your journal… and Halloween is coming up, you know…
Great article. It's true - be careful what you say, because you are listening!!
Hi Tania,
You are not alone. I named my major inner critic, "The Judge".
You describe the scenario lucidly and I like your approach to celebrating strengths. Sometimes though, My Judge has been too loud, too coercive and too stupid to listen. But I have found ways to distract and entice him to do things he likes and I need him to do.
In the spirit of comparing notes, I include here a link to one of my first Substack posts https://garycoulton.substack.com/p/theres-no-such-thing-as-imposter
I'd be grateful for your opinion.
Together, I think we are onto something helpful for anyone with a loud but dumb inner critic on board!
Keep going!
Cheers
Gary
Ooh, I seriously needed to read this today! I love that theory of replacement. It’s so difficult to stop doing something, but when you can replace it with a healthier habit, it helps so much more. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Thanks Bekah ☺️
I relate to your article a lot. I guess it's because we hold ourselves to such a high standard, and anything less than perfect = failure.
Your counter-intuitive approach of saying 'I am the best' seems like a wise idea! Though it won't be easy, I might try it out.
I'm not sure how it will go either haha but would love to hear if it helps you too ☺️
The state of your home is not a reflection of your worth. Whether the dishes are done today, tomorrow or next week has nothing to do with anything. They're just dishes.
The most important thing to give your kids is love, that's what they will remember and that's what'll make them good people. The house being messy does not factor into that.
I love that you recognize the harm that you are doing to yourself by constantly talking yourself down and that you are making a conscious effort to change that. Well done ♡
And it seems you have quite a lot of talents to be proud of.
Also, rather than comparing yourself with your husband, I'd just spend my time admiring him. Sounds like you hit the jackpot with that one! Seems like he has a complimentary skillset to yours, that's perfect! That just means you make a great team. Celebrate that and let each other shine ☆
Finally, just a thought and I hope you don't take this the wrong way because it's not a bad thing, but have you ever considered the possibility that you might be neurodivergent? The thought spirals, the chaos, the creative mind - it gives a bit of neurodivergent vibes. Maybe your brain just has a different way of working and all you need are different strategies and acommodations?
I'm autistic and realizing that changed my life to the better, especially in the way that I think about myself. I'm no longer a broken horse, I'm a beautiful zebra 😊
Anyway, just an idea to explore if you are struggling ♡
A thing that I'm good at: editing other people's stories. Ah, if only it translated over to editing my own stories, but it doesn't 🙈
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. Yes I have considered that I may have ADHD or be a bit nuro spicy but have never been diagnosed. I've come to realise many writers are too ❤️
Tania, don't it feel good to dish out the negativity in words, followed by a sweet dessert....Everybody likes a positive dessert....Thank for sharing....✅
It sure does! Thanks Karl.
Fab fab fab loved the topic and the honest and light hearted approach! Wait … you might have unleashed something girl! Feel the need to spill the beans myself as well ha ha ha you made my morning! Be blessed!
It's hard to be vulnerable so knowing this post made your morning means a lot. Thanks Karina!
I love my husband but whenever I complain about something (which I try not to do, but you know how it is), he says, “I’m just the worst person in the world,” in this funny voice. It’s so annoying because it immediately makes me realize that whatever I’m complaining about isn’t really that big of a deal even though it’s still annoying. I am critical of myself a lot, but over the years I’ve gotten better. When I go too hard on affirmations that I don’t believe it has a tendency to backfire, but I have had success doing what you’re doing here, focusing on the positive. Like how you said your house is messy bc you’re so focused on your kids. That’s so beautiful. We don’t have kids, but it sounds like yours are very loved.
Thanks for sharing your insights and for reading ☺️❤️. As for my hair, I have always had an excessive volume of hair 3x more than the average head of hair it seems 😆 so it just looks like that with zero effort, but it has its downsides too. It gets very heavy and hot at times.
And omg you do have gorgeous hair!!! Tell me your secrets!